Questions We Don’t Ask & How The Old Testament Screws #Christianity

Posted: January 21, 2014 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Atheism, bible, Christianity, Jesus, Progressive Christianity | Tags: atheist, bible, Christianity, doubts, God, new testament, old testament, questions | 3 Comments

When I was a pastor my wife said to me, “You know I love Jesus, but I don’t care for the God of the Old Testament.” She went on to explain that the God in the Old Testament was mean and violent. There was a problem with that statement, because Christians believe that the entire bible is about Jesus. And the God of the Old Testament is the same God in the New Testament. We are basically taught that Jesus was God in sandals.

At this point Christians may agree, but then make the point that when Jesus came and died on the cross there was a punishment for sin, and then God became a much nicer. I won’t argue with that point, but that still doesn’t remove what we were told occurred in the Old Testament. The OT is filled with stories of babies being killed, women being treated like property, and slavery was condoned. We also see children born of incest, and God asking Abraham to scare the hell out of his son by placing him on an altar and plunging a knife into his chest. Sure, God stopped Abe from killing his son, but that is somewhat sick and twisted right?

So am I writing this to say that all of the above is true or untrue? No. I write it to ask another question which is, why can’t we all admit that the stories from the Old Testament and New Testament are a little messed up? Sure it isn’t comfortable to say out loud, but even Christians have to admit it doesn’t make sense. And there are a lot more questions like:

In order for you and I to be forgiven God had to send His Son to die a tragic death?
To show us that He is a God of love, compassion, and forgiveness He allow his son to be tortured and killed?
To give us a better planet He chose Noah to build a huge boat, and then destroyed everyone else by drowning them?
Adam and Eve didn’t even know the definition of sin, but it was their sin that caused all of our problems?
The reason Adam & Eve sinned was because a TALKING SNAKE tempted them?

I honestly appreciate that many of you will take the time to answer those questions, but I believe that I have heard all of them and they still don’t hold the holy water. And so I continue on my journey to decide what to do with all of these questions that can’t be answered. And part of me finds freedom in the journey, but my Baptist upbringing makes me want to stay away from thunderstorms.

How My Wife Being CURED of #Cancer made Us Doubt #God #christianity #atheism

Posted: January 16, 2014 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Atheism, Christianity, Progressive Christianity | Tags: atheist, cancer, Christianity, doubt, God, melanoma | 4 Comments

When I read the title that I’m giving this blog it even made me feel uncomfortable! It was almost 3 years ago when my wife and I got the call no one wants to get from their doctor. He said, “The results are in and you have Melanoma.” They then referred us to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, and over the next month we would hurry up and wait for results. As you can imagine it was an extremely stressful time where we had to confront the very real possibility that my wife would die. I would sit and look at our three young children and wonder how we would possibly function without her. She is the love of my life, and makes our house a home.

I will fast forward to the very good news. They were able to remove the ugly ass mole of death, and we were fortunate that the cancer did not find its way into her lymph nodes. I will never forget the last call we got from the doctor, the one you want to get, where he said that they got it all and that she was cancer free. I was shocked to find that my wife did not shout for joy or even a low ‘thank you God.” I really thought she would want to start attending church on a regular basis and become more spiritual. However, she didn’t want to go to church at all! So I finally told her that I was surprised that she didn’t seem happier or thankful to God (I said those words carefully). And that is when she said something that shocked me, which was “Why did He let me get cancer to start with…I mean if He loves me and He cares about me why did He make me suffer like that?” Now, many people had an answer for that question. They said God was teaching us lessons, making us tough, redirecting our life, and that it wasn’t God’s fault (It was Eve’s fault that we all get sick, because she listened to that damn talking snake in the garden).

So I began thinking about her question, and then I put myself in God’s place, and asked myself if I would ever…ever consider allowing one of my children to think they were going to die so that I could redirect their life? And the answer was absolutely not. If I was an all-powerful father who controlled the universe then I would not choose to use suffering and tremendous fear to teach anyone a lesson. I would be much more creative. Again, I’m not saying I’m an atheist and that God doesn’t exist, but it leads to many more questions than answers.

JUST ADDED ON 1-8-14:

I received an incredible note from a sweet lady who is currently watch her husband suffer greatly with stage 4 Melanoma. She let me know that the prognosis is extremely poor, but that she and her husband have kept their faith strong. I want all of you reading this to understand that I am not writing about my doubts about God’s omnipotence with joy and from a place of authority. I truly admire people like this precious lady and her husband. I would love…I crave that kind of faith and understanding in regards to the suffering in our world. I just haven’t been able to get there, BUT my journey continues and maybe one day I too can arrive at that place of certainty. This is a blog written from a dude on a spiritual journey, and not someone who thinks they have all the answers.

Life with My Dad in The ICU: Is God in Control?

Posted: January 10, 2014 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: atheism, bible, Christianity, death, dying, God, icu | Leave a comment

Today I sat by my father’s hospital bed in the ICU. Look at those letters I-C-U. They are damn ugly aren’t they? Seriously, even if they didn’t stand for “Intensive Care Unit” they would still scream of something being wrong. Sorry I digressed so horribly right from the beginning. So I was sitting there looking at this man that I love with all of my heart, and he has tubes going in and out of his bruised and tired body. The nurses came in and opened the curtains, and it just seemed fitting that it was cloudy, and one of the coldest days in history.

I wasn’t alone on the ICU floor. There were others sitting by bedsides looking at their loved ones as well. And no one says it, but we know the ICU is one of heaven’s waiting rooms, and we are praying that God doesn’t choose to call out the name of the one we love. Yes almost everyone prays in the ICU and they want one thing…they want a miracle.

A young man who tested the speed of his motorcycle heard his name called while I was there in heaven’s waiting room, but not the teenage girl that accompanied him on the rambunctious ride…she got her miracle. In fact, that is what her precious mother said to me…she said, “It’s a miracle!” Later on in the evening as I turned the corner near another ICU unit I heard the screams of two teenage girls. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I kept hearing the word “daddy.” The family’s pastor arrived to pray with them and then he went to pray with their daddy. And it wasn’t long until I heard a lady say, “They lost him.” Their daddy’s name had been called. Then I met a sweet little old lady who let me know her hubby had gotten his miracle. “Praise the Lord” she said as they opened the doors to allow her to go back in to sit by his side. Yes the ICU is a place of prayer. It is a place where some claim God heard them and granted them a miracle and others…well they just feel like they got screwed.

You may be wondering if I pray, and the answer is yes, but not in the same way that I did at one time. Now my prayers feel more like throwing a coin into a wishing well or a slot machine. I don’t think it will change anything or that I will hit the jackpot, but I can’t resist reaching into my heart and dropping in a prayer. And I will often ask others to pray on my behalf, because my faith in a heavenly process is weak.

It isn’t that I’m angry with God or doubting His process for who gets a miracle. Honestly, I just simply think there may not be a process in place. And while that once caused me to get depressed and very pissed off at God…it now brings me peace and comfort. Yes you read that correctly. Now that I don’t think God is in complete control I don’t hold Him responsible for all the horrible shit that hits the fan. Please don’t be offended but I just don’t believe that God looks down into an ICU and chooses who gets to keep the love of their life and who doesn’t.

I realize that this type of thinking makes many of my Christian friends more than a little upset with me. They don’t understand how that I can possibly believe that God is not all powerful, but I can live with that because I know that God is upset with me. The problem with most Christians today is they seem to think God gets angry with anyone that doesn’t think He is the controller of the universe. If God is the controller of the universe then He probably looks at me and says, “What a dumb ass, but I love him anyway.” And If He is in complete control then I would say to Him, “Can we have a very long talk when I get to meet you?” Because if He is steering this ship He is making the captain of the Titanic look like Captain Stubing!

Now I didn’t fall out of the back of the fundamentalist truck yesterday so I know what some of you may say about that last paragraph. Some may say that the world is a mess because Eve listened to that damn snake in the garden, and now we live in a fallen world. You may believe we are in this diseased filled world with suffering and tragedies all around us because of our sin, and that the blame can’t be placed on God. Well let’s say that I built a car for you, and while you were driving down the road the wheels fell off and caused you to crash. At that point would you say that the crash was your fault, because you chose to drive the car? Would you say that we just live in a fallen world where no one’s perfect and then let me off the hook? No, you would hire a good lawyer, and blame the crash on me because I was the car’s creator.

I love our beautiful world, but if God is the all powerful creator then He has to be responsible for the “wheels falling off.” If He is not the all powerful creator then we can quit being upset with Him, and slap a bumper sticker on life that says, “Shit Happens.” And that is really what I think it all comes down too. Shit happens and we have to do our best to deal with it. Our world is far from perfect, but we have to learn to accept the fact that suffering and pain are part of it. The day will come where each of us will begin to suffer in some form or another, and so we must make the most of each day we have between now and then. Yes God is good and God is great, but we can’t blame Him when our name or the name of those we love is called.

Death is knocking on the door, and I wish God was near. #Christianity

Posted: January 5, 2014 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Atheism, Christianity | Tags: death, fair, God | 6 Comments

It’s late in the evening and I’m stuck in a hotel because my flight was canceled on the way back home to see my father who is in an ICU. He is a wonderful man who has been an amazing father. When I spoke with my precious mother she talked about how he reads his bible daily, and when he can’t attend church he will watch a preacher on TV. Why did she bring that up? Because there is a part of her that hopes God will give him extra points in heaven. She is hoping God will give him some bonus points and help him survive this difficult time.

I totally understand the way she feels. I too wish that God was up there ready to throw a miracle down on my father. And I wish that I could pray with confidence that God was listening and actually considering saving my father’s life when I pray, but I can no longer believe that is a possibility. The truth of the matter is…my father is in the hands of the health of his heart. If he can recover he will, and if he can’t then he won’t. It isn’t in God’s hands. I do believe in God, but I just can’t believe He is in control. And that means I can’t give Him credit OR hold him responsible for the outcome. I know that some may see me as an atheist, but I simply choose to let God off the hook for the bad things that happen in life.

The Next Closet that People will Slowly come out of is…

Posted: December 12, 2013 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: atheist, christian, coming out of the closet, God | 10 Comments

I have found a new group of people that I dearly love. I’m talking about you self proclaimed heathens, hellions, agnostics, and atheists. Just over one month ago I began reading books, blogs, and tweets from the unbelievers. And I found a group of people that had passion for their belief in unbelief. And I also began to feel sorry for them, and not because they didn’t know Jeeeeesus. It was because of how many of them admitted they are in the closet. They are atheist, but they can’t let their family know because they would be ostracized.

Think about that for a moment. Seriously, if you are a Christian let that flow through your purified mind. As a group, Christians are so judgmental or dogmatic that people in our own families run into their closet of doubt, because they fear anger or rejection.
And if you will notice, yours truly is anonymous! Yes, I don’t have my name on my Twitter account (@religionsuckz) or this blog. Why? Because I am fairly well known in certain areas of this wonderful land of the FREE, and I’m afraid of what people will say or do if they know the real me. The real me that still loves the teachings of Jesus, but wonders if He ever truly rose from the dead. The real me that loves the fact that my gay friends can get hitched. The real me that believes the only hell that exists is here on earth. The real me that knows the bible, that I love, is full of metaphors and yes…contradictions.

So I want to encourage all of us to come out of our closets of doubt when the time is right. We need to release ourselves from our secrets, because it is our secrets that will lead us toward anxiety and depression. In order to live life to the fullest we have to be authentic…we have to be ourselves. And there will be those that reject us, but do we really need those people in our life? Set yourself free, and I will join you!

Do you really have to give yourself a label? #christian #atheism

Posted: December 6, 2013 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Atheism, Christianity, God, Jesus, Progressive Christianity | Tags: doubts, God, heart, live life to the fullest, love, spiritual questions | 3 Comments

If you don’t listen to anything else that I write on this extremely insightful blog then please listen to this next sentence. You and I have to begin living deep within our hearts, and move away from focusing on the past and “what ifs” of the future. A wise man once said to me, “When you focus on the past (especially the regrets) then it will lead to depression, and if you focus too far into the future it will likely lead to anxiety.”

You may wonder what I mean when I use the expression “living deep within our hearts.” It simply means you have to begin implementing those things that energize your life. So ask yourself, “Self, what do I love to do; what makes me feel alive?” If you are not doing those things on a regular basis then you will have a tendency to move toward feeling depressed.

Many of the readers of my blog are interested in spiritual matters of the heart as well. In other words we are all trying to figure out what is in our hearts when it comes to spiritual beliefs. And in my humble opinion, for some of us it has caused or is causing a lot of unnecessary stress, because we feel as though we must have all the answers. And we believe we must be able to give ourselves the label of agnostic, atheist, Christian, Buddhist, or etc. Let go of that and accept the fact that the spiritual side of life is truly a wonderful mystery. I realize that Dr. Richard Dawkins and Billy Graham appear to have no questions about what they believe, but I guarantee you that is not the case. Allow your spiritual being to develop during the journey of life, and realize that there are some things your head will never be able to believe but your heart will.

What is A #Christian’s View of an #Atheist?

Posted: December 5, 2013 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Atheism, Christianity, God, Jesus, Progressive Christianity | Tags: atheism, Baptist church, Christianity, God, Honesty, religion | 8 Comments

I absolutely love Twitter (@religionsuckz), and over the last couple of months I began following some Atheist and Free Thinkers. The one thing that I find interesting is how many Atheist have to go out of their way to essentially say, “I’m a nice and friendly person.” There are even a few with that in their Twitter handle or blog name. And I soon learned that the reason for this is because many believe that Christians think they are all “bad” people.

And so I asked myself, “Self, what did you think of Atheist growing up…what picture did you have in your mind?” I have to be honest that it was not a pretty picture. I did assume that most of them would be mean, angry, depressed, and very very big sinners! Why? Well because growing up in the Baptist church we were taught that only peace, joy, hope, and last but not least…forgiveness and salvation could only be found in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Oh sure, people would say they had peace and love and all that good stuff without God, but we were told that they were lying. And what about purpose and significance? Well, that could only come through a relationship with J.C. as well. So your question is, “Do you still believe that?” The quick answer is no, but let me tell you a little more of my story.

Not long ago I had what I like to call a B-F-O, which is a blinding flash of the obvious! It happened when I was reading through my journal that I had kept while I was a pastor. I was shocked at how depressive, anxious ridden, and dark that time was in my life. There was very little peace and happiness. And there was very little joy, and I sure didn’t appear to be hopeful. I know that my Christian brethren will say that I was being attacked by Satan, or that I was in darkness because I never truly saw the light. I won’t bother arguing about that, but I can tell you that as I looked around at other pastors and Christians I didn’t see a lot of true joy in their lives either. Most of the pastor were totally drained and depressed. And many pastors and Christians had relationships that were a mess. Simply put, their lives were very messy…no more messy than those who are Atheist.

So am I saying that I don’t believe in God? No. Am I saying Atheist are happier than Christians? No. What I am saying is that a belief in God or a “relationship with Jesus” doesn’t appear to make a difference when it comes to joy, hope, peace, and happiness. And it is very clear that a belief or non-belief has little to do with morality. If you don’t believe me do some Google searches, and start with the phrases “Catholic Priest admits” or “Pastor admits to.” And while it appears I’m being overly critical of Christians I want you to know that isn’t my goal. I’m simply saying that we have to quit thinking we are superior to other groups of people.

Regardless of someone’s beliefs they have a choice to make in life. They can choose to live a good and moral life, they can choose to focus on being joyful, and they can choose to have hope or see things as hopeless. And believe me when I say that I WISH a belief in God just stamped all those things into someone’s life! What…I think I just heard someone ask, “Well if someone doesn’t believe in God then how do they know what is moral?” Please stick your head in a door, and slam it three times to see if it helps. I find that question highly offensive and I’m not even an Atheist!

Coming to Grips with A New Reality. #atheist #christian #agnostic

Posted: November 14, 2013 | Author: formerpastor | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: agnostic, atheist, bible, christian, God, reality shows | 2 Comments

Last night I was watching one of the many reality shows with my teenage daughter, and I blurted out, “This is so staged.” And I got that dirty look that only a teenage daughter can give! She gets very upset when i criticize her reality shows even though she is fairly certain that I am correct. And as I was sitting there I thought about how we are all that way when it comes to our religious or non-religious leanings.

Regardless of whether we are an Atheist, Agnostic, or Christian we tend to get upset or ignore someone saying anything that goes against our world view. For me it was the arguments against the innerrancy of the bible.

In my opinion, there is no doubt that the scriptures are full of contradictions and metaphors that have been given the voice of God. However, when that case was presented to me throughout my earlier life I would either turn down or turn off the volume. Why? Because deep down I knew that the critics had a solid case. And I was taught that everything is black and white in that you either accept or reject it all. So if I admitted that the bible had some major issues then I might as well just reject God, Jesus, and everything that goes along with it. Recently I realized that is a ridiculous way to go through life. And it is also ridiculous to continue to pretend to view something as a reality when you know that it has been staged your entire life. Remember, these are my thoughts and I don’t mean to offend anyone.

I would say to my Atheist and Agnostic friends not to do the same thing on the other side as well. If there is something that begins to make sense when it comes to God don’t turn down the volume. It is okay for all of us to have doubts…even the doubters! Okay, that didn’t make sense, but it sounded good. My point today is that we are all exploring the mystery of life, and while we don’t have to agree I think we should listen to one another. After all, We may not agree on who created the heavens and the earth, but we can at least figure out a way to make it a better place.