How My Wife Being CURED of #Cancer made Us Doubt #God #christianity #atheism

When I read the title that I’m giving this blog it even made me feel uncomfortable!   It was almost 3 years ago when my wife and I got the call no one wants to get from their doctor.  He said, “The results are in and you have Melanoma.”  They then referred us to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, and over the next month we would hurry up and wait for results.  As you can imagine it was an extremely stressful time where we had to confront the very real possibility that my wife would die.  I would sit and look at our three young children and wonder how we would possibly function without her.  She is the love of my life, and makes our house a home.

I will fast forward to the very good news.  They were able to remove the ugly ass mole of death, and we were fortunate that the cancer did not find its way into her lymph nodes.  I will never forget the last call we got from the doctor, the one you want to get, where he said that they got it all and that she was cancer free.  I was shocked to find that my wife did not shout for joy or even a low ‘thank you God.”  I really thought she would want to start attending church on a regular basis and become more spiritual.  However, she didn’t want to go to church at all!  So I finally told her that I was surprised that she didn’t seem happier or thankful to God (I said those words carefully).  And that is when she said something that shocked me, which was “Why did He let me get cancer to start with…I mean if He loves me and He cares about me why did He make me suffer like that?”  Now, many people had an answer for that question.  They said God was teaching us lessons, making us tough, redirecting our life, and that it wasn’t God’s fault (It was Eve’s fault that we all get sick, because she listened to that damn talking snake in the garden).

So I began thinking about her question, and then I put myself in God’s place, and asked myself if I would ever…ever consider allowing one of my children to think they were going to die so that I could redirect their life?  And the answer was absolutely not.  If I was an all-powerful father who controlled the universe then I would not choose to use suffering and tremendous fear to teach anyone a lesson.  I would be much more creative.  Again, I’m not saying I’m an atheist and that God doesn’t exist, but it leads to many more questions than answers.

JUST ADDED ON 1-8-14:

I received an incredible note from a sweet lady who is currently watch her husband suffer greatly with stage 4 Melanoma.  She let me know that the prognosis is extremely poor, but that she and her husband have kept their faith strong.  I want all of you reading this to understand that I am not writing about my doubts about God’s omnipotence with joy and from a place of authority.  I truly admire people like this precious lady and her husband.  I would love…I crave that kind of faith and understanding in regards to the suffering in our world.  I just haven’t been able to get there, BUT my journey continues and maybe one day I too can arrive at that place of certainty.  This is a blog written from a dude on a spiritual journey, and not someone who thinks they have all the answers.