Death is knocking on the door, and I wish God was near. #Christianity

It’s late in the evening and I’m stuck in a hotel because my flight was canceled on the way back home to see my father who is in an ICU.  He is a wonderful man who has been an amazing father.  When I spoke with my precious mother she talked about how he reads his bible daily, and when he can’t attend church he will watch a preacher on TV.  Why did she bring that up?  Because there is a part of her that hopes God will give him extra points in heaven.  She is hoping God will give him some bonus points and help him survive this difficult time.

I totally understand the way she feels.  I too wish that God was up there ready to throw a miracle down on my father.  And I wish that I could pray with confidence that God was listening and actually considering saving my father’s life when I pray, but I can no longer believe that is a possibility.  The truth of the matter is…my father is in the hands of the health of his heart.  If he can recover he will, and if he can’t then he won’t.  It isn’t in God’s hands.  I do believe in God, but I just can’t believe He is in control.  And that means I can’t give Him credit OR hold him responsible for the outcome.  I know that some may see me as an atheist, but I simply choose to let God off the hook for the bad things that happen in life.